Be the Women Who See Each Other—for Real

We have all felt the sting of being left out. Standing on the edge of a circle, pretending not to care. Scrolling through pictures of a gathering we weren’t invited to. Watching laughter from across the room and wondering why no one asked us to join. Smiling on the outside while aching inside, questioning if we were forgotten or if we simply didn’t matter.

And yet, how often do we turn around and do the same to someone else? We assume she doesn’t care, she’s too busy, or she thinks she’s better than us. But what if the truth is different? What if she’s carrying something so heavy that the last thing she needs is criticism or gossip from someone who never took the time to know her? What if what she needs most is compassion?

Sometimes the strongest-looking women are the ones holding the deepest pain. Sometimes the ones who look like they have it all together are quietly wondering how they’ll make it through the day. Appearances can fool us either way. And unless we slow down enough to really see her, we’ll miss the chance to discover not only who she could be in our lives, but also who we could be in hers. Friendship isn’t one-sided. It’s the give and take of showing up for each other, of choosing to see and be seen.

I’ll be honest. I’ve misjudged before. I’ve let my own insecurity or comparison talk louder than kindness. And sometimes, I simply didn’t take the time. But age has a way of teaching us that wisdom isn’t about being flawless. It’s about learning to see better, to know better, and to do better.

Here’s what I’ve come to believe: friendships are lifelines. They anchor us in the hard times, they remind us we’re not alone, and they give us joy when life feels heavy. But friendships aren’t static. They shift and change as life shifts and changes. Some grow stronger, some fade, and some surprise us by appearing in seasons we least expect.

The challenge is this. Are we willing to let go of what used to be and open ourselves up to what could be? Are we curious enough to ask instead of assume? Brave enough to offer an invitation instead of waiting to be invited?

Because jealousy, competition, and judgment actually weigh us down. They close doors. They shrink our circles. But encouragement opens them. Curiosity builds bridges. And courage—the courage to say hello, to smile, to make space—changes everything.

And the next time you find yourself in a circle where someone starts to gossip or tear another woman down, be the one who steps out of it. Be the woman who doesn’t partake in that kind of cruel conversation. It’s okay to be her. Maybe instead of nodding along, you gently ask, “But do we really know this? Have we given her a chance?” Sometimes that simple question is all it takes to shift the room.

Imagine the positive change in the world if we chose a better way forward:

What if instead of competing, we celebrated?
What if instead of judging, we understood?
What if instead of assuming, we started a conversation?
What if instead of closing circles, we opened our arms?

Let’s become the women who cheer so loudly for each other that no woman will ever doubt she belongs!